Embracing age and shadow work

So I plastered the makeup on, put my current favourite earrings in and hoped for the best. I don't like taking photos of myself so I timed it for when the moon was waxing and in Leo 😆. Give myself the confidence boost from the lunar energy and the lion of the zodiac!

I've had this task on my to do list for a couple of weeks since I had my hair chopped into and decided to let it enjoy its natural habitat and go feral. I've always wanted that hair that you can wash and go but never been able to pull it off. But then age took hold and made it wiry and coarse and a bit wavy so I'm embracing it along with the wrinkles, age spots, scars and aches and pains. Embracing becoming old is not easy but also very liberating. Always wearing comfy pants and bras, shoes and socks, jeans that fit my thighs rather than squeeze, waistbands that are gentle, t shirts that don't make me sweat, soft sweaters and cardigans that comfort. There's great joy in that. R E A L L Y G R E A T J O Y

There's also magic in that. The magic of transformation. It got me thinking…. As I work on Part 8 of the Witch's Journey and shadow work I wondered what shadows are still lurking. My biggest shadows have been defeated recently (fear, victim mentality, lack) so what on earth could I work on now? I'm happy and contented, relieved and grateful. Do I really NEED to do this work?

Then I realised there are still parts of myself I keep tucked away. The quiet ones. The desire to be noticed and heard — which is funny, because I'm also shy and introverted and hate crowds. The anger I don't let myself feel, so I keep the peace and please everyone, then carry the shame when it slips out anyway. The little flares of envy and frustration that surprise me even when I'm content. There are a few more besides, but those I'll keep for now.

So there's still work to be done on this transformation journey. Just by sitting at my desk and writing this today I am understanding myself better. I didn't start out writing with this in mind but the action of starting to write let the words flow out of me. That's magic at work. Putting things into words gets it out. Creating art and images from these words is the next step for me so this weekend I am hoping for some me time at my desk to work in Ruby, my grimoire for The Journey.

I'll always be a work in progress, we all are, but I may know myself better and make better choices for me, making me a more genuine version of myself rather than one I think others would like!