I asked the universe and the sea spoke to me

My shadow on the beach in Crete

I stood at the edge of the sea, the winds of change blowing in my hair and asked the universe what I should do next.

A week into my holiday and my mind was still a vortex of endless chatter that I couldn’t make sense of.

What do I need to do?

How can I relax and soothe my nerves, my thoughts and my anxieties and move myself towards something calmer?

The world is a bubbling sea of NOISE, everyone shouting and yelling to be heard when no one is REALLY listening. My mind reflects that noisy chatter and all my thoughts are shouting at me to notice them. But they’re too many, too much, confused and a mess.

Then the sea spoke to me as it gently washed to and fro over my feet planted firmly in the sand, making me feel more peaceful and grounded in the present moment.

“BE the peace you want to experience”

“BE the calm quiet oasis that you need”

“STOP trying so hard to be heard and instead wander around your own tranquil gardens and connect with others who need this space too”

“LISTEN to your inner wisdom and let it guide you towards the things you want to learn more about”

“Sit quietly with your art and create work that soothes you and gently calms your anxious mind”

“BE the temple of tranquility that you need to reflect and rest within”

A few weeks before I came away on holiday I tried to get back on social media again. Excited at the prospect of meeting and connecting with new people and sharing my work I jumped in.

Instead of fun and connection I felt like I was standing slap bang in the middle of a very busy, very noisy shopping centre, full of loud announcements, silly (sometimes funny) memes, tonnes of adverts for things I really don’t need at all, people dancing and shouting about what they are doing or selling or how they can help me be instantly better, brighter, wealthier, prettier and more successful, just like them.

I felt the opposite.

I couldn’t make any sense of it all.

I couldn’t for the life of me find joy, connection or inspiration in this ever moving, in your face, chaotic mess.

I was like a wide eyed rabbit, not knowing what to look at and eventually feeling totally confused and wondering how I got here. All I could see was…

Buy this NOW!

Join me NOW!

You NEED this NOW!

You must do this NOW!

Instant success if you do this NOW!

You’re doing it all wrong! You need to do this instead…NOW!

Instant success - No effort - instant gratification

NOW!

And I was swimming in the same noisy sea. Waves were crashing over me on all sides and I felt like I was drowning. None of this was helping me and I couldn’t be part of that noise.

I don’t want to shout, I want to LISTEN to life, I want to EXPERIENCE life.

So I’m writing these words in pencil, very scruffily, in my little exercise notebook on the beach in Crete with the winds of change blowing in my hair and the sea softly flowing in and out and I want to embrace that gentleness.

The gentle murmurs of people chatting

The ebb and flow of life

I read a bit, a good story. I read a bit more, it’s getting good.

I draw and doodle, journal and play

I pay attention to the gentleness of being alive, a sip of water, a ripe peach, the sun warm on my skin.

I reflect on life in my journal and as I write these words things slowly become clearer. I start to know where I want to go and what I want to do.

Here is where the magic is.

There are NO quick fixes, secret recipes to success or transformation.

Life is just not like that.

We have now been 3 years fighting our legal battle to get back what was taken away from us by people who cannot be honest about what they have done and would rather continue to cause us pain and distress. Over those years I have changed. No quick transformation but slow healing, sometimes taking big steps forward and sometimes drifting back into the shadows of depression. Sometimes feeling strong, sometimes pathetic. Sometimes lucky and sometimes victimised. Time and patience and trying to be at peace with each stage of my own personal journey is the only thing that has got me through.

Having the strength to do something quite brave for me and sharing my creativity has kept me going, in the hope that it might also help others too. This has given me purpose and to keep coming back to that purpose is what matters greatly to me.

I can’t offer you quick fixes

I can’t offer you instant transformation

I would be lying if I did and I cannot abide liars

I CAN invite you to journey with me and I CAN share the lovely things I learn along the way.

I am on a new journey now, and after my conversation with the ocean I understand clearly my purpose and what I need to create for myself and others who are on similar paths and feeling this same overwhelming noise.

A CALM QUIET OASIS

Where we can reflect and rest

Learn and grow

Heal and understand ourselves more

Connect and play

Calm our frazzled nerves

What that will look like I’m not quite sure yet but I have better clarity and an understanding of what my purpose and dream is.

A gentle way to be here on earth and make the best of my time here. It’s a journey that will twist and turn, stop and start, full of adventure and fun, some deep work, learning new skills and meeting new people with similar values.

I cannot shout, it’s not in my nature

I cannot be a loud extrovert when I’m an introvert through and through

I cannot be something I am not

But, I CAN be ME,

I can be honest, I can be creative,

I can share, I can connect to like minded souls,

I can gently teach,

I can laugh and have fun,

I can be generous,

I can understand and care,

I can create my own type of magic and show others how to do the same

I don’t know how this will all turn out and what it will eventually look like but I do know that it will be real, honest and unmistakably me, because that is all I CAN be.

So, yes I am planning new fun things to learn and play with and I’m always looking out for good stuff to share, but I will do this in my own way - no shouting - and if that means I have to carry on being patient and let things grow gently and organically rather than instantly earning thousands of pounds then SO BE IT.

Good things come to those who wait

Join me if you are called to

Create your own calm oasis wherever you can in whatever way you can.

BE the person you wish to be

LIVE the life you wish to live

TODAY

These are the only things you should NOT wait for! These are the things you CAN do NOW!

I’ll keep you posted with my gentle changes and I’ll be hanging around in my own tranquil garden communities if you want to connect with me and tell me if you feel like this too, I’d love to know if I’m not alone in feeling like this.

Much magical love

Sara Jane xxx

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